Lost and Found
by iletthedogsout
Summary: ... or is there something more than just faith, and trust, and pixie dust? Wendy tries to forget Peter, but she can't. Fate has other plans for them.


A/N: Just a little story about Wendy getting over Peter Pan… or, to be exact, not being able to get over him, and their very own happy ending. Excuse me if my English is not good, I'm doing my best ;)  
Regular – Present  
Italic – Wendy's memories

**What hurts the most  
was being so close  
and having so much to say  
and watching you walk away…**

"Peter!" I called him.  
He stopped in the air and turned to me. Tink was flying around him and his hair shined incredibly in the fairy's light. I found myself unable to take my eyes off of him.  
"You won't forget me… will you?" my voice was kind of pleading. I could feel the tears as my eyes met his.  
"Me?" Peter smiled and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "To forget? Never."  
The last word was almost a whisper, but it made me smile briefly. His face became sad as his smile faded away and he lifted his hand to wave goodbye. Then he turned around, tears in his eyes, and I couldn't let him go.  
"Will you come back?" I asked, desperate to hold him here for at least few more seconds. And it worked – he turned to face me again.  
"To hear stories," he laughed. "About me!"  
I laughed too, though I was almost crying, as I watched him disappear in the clouds. I let my tears fall once he was gone, and walked to my family. John and Michael hadn't notice anything, nor had the rest of the Lost Boys, my new brothers and cousin. My mother hugged me briefly and whispered: "I'm so glad you're back, precious."  
Aunt Millicent reached to close the window, but I held her arm.  
"Leave it opened," I insisted.  
"But you are here now," she said. "We are not expecting anyone."  
"No," I agreed. "But still, he might come."  
I looked at the stars. Something little and shiny was flying in circles, and I could easily say it was Tinker bell. Knowing that he wouldn't hear me if I called out his name now made me almost fall on my knees.  
"Peter," I whispered in the dark, staring at the little shiny object in the clouds. "I'm going to miss you."  
I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, and turned around. It was Slightly, his eyes almost as full of tears as mine. He held my hand.  
"He'll come back, Wendy," he said in a promising voice. "He always does."  
It was the first time he had ever called me by my first name. He seemed to be so grown-up now, out of Neverland. He was almost mature.  
"I know, Slightly," I answered. "I just don't know when that's going to be. You know Peter. He doesn't really notice when he's gone for a long time."  
He said nothing. He just smiled briefly and turned around to see what Michael was showing him.  
When I thought about it, I could almost tell it was all one big wonderful dream. But the evidence that it was real was right before my eyes. The twins were playing with John's plastic figures, Curly, Tootles and Mother were talking quietly, and Father was giving a pony ride to Nibs, and Slightly was with Aunt Millicent. The stuff Michael had stolen from Smee was all around the room, too.  
And, if that wasn't enough as a proof, there was this warm feeling I got when this familiar, blond-haired boy, with eyes as green as the forest in spring, popped in my mind.  
"Wendy!" I heard one of the twins screaming, as he ran to hug me. "Can you tell us a story, Wendy?"  
"Yes, tell us a story, Wendy!" the others started yelling.  
"OK, OK," I laughed. "Once upon a time, there was a boy who didn't want to grow up…"

***

**and now I see that loving you  
is what I was trying to do…****  
**  
Jane was almost asleep now. I watched her face and I was amazed how she didn't look a thing like her father.  
Her father… Joey Lanfester was a guy I once met at a business dinner. We became close, fell in love and there she was – the result of this brief love. What I liked most in Joey were the dimples on his cheeks. They reminded me of the only one I've ever truly loved.  
I touched my lips, amazed to find I still remembered the taste of his. And just then it came back to me…

_We all heard something hitting the ground and turned around, amazed to see Peter, lying helpless at Hook's feet. The fight stopped right there and we, kids and pirates, all stared at the boy, who was almost crying and was breathing heavily. I wanted to run to him and hold him, and tell him it's OK, and to promise I would not leave his side… I didn't want Hook to hurt him. I would give my all to keep him harmless, safe and sound in my arms… But it wasn't going to happen and I felt horror rushing through my veins.  
Hook placed his hook underneath Peter's chin and made him stand up. Then he kicked him, so Peter's head bumped into a column and his eyes became unfocused. I bit my lip. Please, please, let him get out of it alive, I pleaded to God and whoever could hear me. Hook caught Peter by the throat. My voice finally came alive and I shrieked, but just to have one of the pirates catching me. I could hear my boys screaming around me, but I couldn't do anything about it, even if that guy hadn't grabbed me. Peter was all I could see. Peter, so helpless, living his last seconds – that was all my eyes registered. The guy who was holding me dragged me away from him, just as the captain's hook hit Peter in the forehead. I tried to run to him, but once again, that creepy guy captured me.  
"You die alone," Hook said, holding Peter by the hair. "And unloved," he forced him to face me.  
I couldn't look in his eyes, so I turned away.  
"Unloved," repeated the creepy guy and made me turn my face to Peter. For a second there we just stared at each other, and it hurt like hell. It hurt because in that moment I realized that Peter Pan actually did have feelings, and his feelings were more sincere than anyone else's. But this second was gone, and Hook made Peter turn away again.  
"Just like me," the captain added and pushed Peter away from himself.  
"No!" I screamed, as Peter's head hit the floor… and again… and again… and for one last time. After that he lay still on the ground.  
I felt the tears coming up, but they didn't reach my eyes. I pleaded them to come and relieve the pain at least a little bit…  
Peter turned a little to face me. I could tell by the empty look in his eyes that he didn't have much life left. A single tear fall down from my eye – I couldn't stand the view of him, so helpless, so lifeless, on the floor. His eyes followed the tear and a little smile curved his lips. All I wanted right now was for him to know that I cared. I cared about him so much I could barely breathe when I knew he didn't have much time left to breathe… and I knew he was aware of it.  
Hook yelled, returning us in reality. And reality was here and now, with the deadly hook above Peter's head. His eyes met Hook's, but the smile didn't leave his lips. I knew what it meant. He could bravely face death now he knew I loved him.  
But I couldn't.  
I screamed and hit the creepy pirate in the face with my head, and then I jumped and got a grip on Hook's right wrist, just above his weapon. He pushed me on the ground, next to Peter.  
"Silence, all," he ordered. "Hear Wendy's farewell."  
I almost snuggled by Peter's side, trying to get as close to him as I could.  
"Peter," I whispered. I couldn't make my voice sound louder. He didn't look at me, but his smile faded away, as if he knew what I was about to say. I could feel the life leaving his body and it was almost unbearable to hurt his feelings, but he needed to know. "I'm sorry, I must grow up. But… this is yours."  
I reached to touch his face, but Hook got a grip on my wrist and pulled me up. I tried to look innocent and sound convincing, but the pain was so bad I could barely speak, let alone being persuasive.  
"It's just a thimble," I said weakly.  
Hook laughed at me.  
"How like a girl!" he said disdainfully, and all the pirates laughed with him. "By all means, my beauty, give Peter Pan your precious thimble."  
He let go of me and I turned to face Peter. He turned slightly to me, but he was so weak that he couldn't say anything. I leaned down to put my lips to his ear and made great effort to whisper:  
"This belongs to you, and it always will."  
It was hard enough trying to hold the tears back. I could not lose Peter. This was just so impossible. I couldn't even think of it. And maybe that was why I was grabbing these last few moments with him.  
I cupped his bloody face with my hands. His eyes met mine with something like expectation; as I leaned down to touch his lips. He closed his eyes just a second before our lips touched. I enjoyed the moment even though I knew it wouldn't last… even though I knew it was the last time I was seeing Peter alive. The taste of his lips on mine made me forget about everything but here and now, holding him, knowing he belongs to me just as much as I belonged to him. When the kiss broke, I just stood there, staring at his beautiful eyes locked on mine.  
"That was no thimble," I heard John's amazed voice.  
"That was the hidden kiss," Michael added.  
That was the hidden kiss which I had kept for my biggest adventure – for him, for Peter, who I'd follow even in heaven.  
The sky lit up so suddenly that it shocked me. Hook immediately grabbed me by the hair and lifted me up the ground. Peter's lips curved into a big smile and I knew I'd done my job. But it wasn't why my heart was beating so fast. I had just realized that Peter actually… loved me._

Jane was probably already asleep, but I kept swinging her on my lap and singing her favorite lullaby.  
"Sleep, little baby, don't you cry, Mommy will buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird doesn't sing, Mommy will buy you a diamond ring…"  
And his eyes shined just like diamonds…  
I shook my head. I definitely didn't want to spend the rest of my live mourning about Peter Pan and the life I could have had, but I had refused.  
But could truly love be rejected… I seriously doubted that.

***  
**The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same…  
**  
I sat alone in the room, staring at the dark sky through the open window. It had been hours since that soldier rushed into my house to tell me that…  
Gosh, I couldn't even think about it.  
My youngest brother, the baby of the family had died in the cruel war they were participating in. John was "holding on", the boy told me. But my little brother… the one I used to take care of… the one who always, always looked up to me… my little Michael… was gone. And I couldn't stop the tears from falling down and wetting my lips.  
I had sent Jane out with her cousins, Tootles' daughters – Emily and Clara. I didn't want her to see me like that, crying the life out of myself. I couldn't help it. I couldn't let Michael go. Michael...

***  
**Where are you? I need you.  
Don't leave me here on my own…****  
**  
It hasn't been long after Michael's funeral, when the same soldier came at my house again and I felt my blood cooling. What was about to hear? Was it Tootles? Or Curly? Nibs? The twins? Slightly?  
Was it John?  
I rested my head against Emily's shoulder, when the news hit my ears.  
"Miss Darling, I'm so sorry to tell you that your brother John has been killed…"  
And I was left here, sitting with my oldest niece, unable to hold the tears back… Unable to breathe.  
And I needed somebody to hold me and tell me it would be alright, though I knew I wouldn't believe him. I needed him to come and assure me that there IS a silver lining… even now that my beloved brothers were no longer by my side.

***  
**Far away, long ago,  
Glowing dim as an ember…  
Things my heart used to know -  
once upon a December…****  
**  
Nibs had come home for a few days, because he was badly wounded. Seeing my adopted brother like this almost made me fall apart. I held him close to me for awhile, while my tears absorbed in his soft blond hair.  
"I still can't believe Michael and John are not there," he said one night, when he was going to bed. I let him sleep in Jane's nursery, so he wouldn't have to sleep on the sofa. "I was with John in his last hours, you know. I watched… I watched the life leaving his face… Oh my God, Wendy…"  
I held him again, aware of his wounded rib, as he cried and cried. He cried himself to sleep, and then I just sat there, watching both him and Jane sleeping peacefully, even though there were wet linings on Nibs' face. I stared out the window, to the stars I once was almost able to touch…  
"Peter," I whispered. His name had become something like a mantra through the years, something I would say every once in a while. "Peter," I whispered and there was hardly anything that could hold me alive as much as his name did. It was like crying for the help which never came. He never came back to see me, not even once. He had forgotten all about me. I thought he loved me… but probably I was just delusional. Probably I had just been seeing what I had wanted to see. He was probably right… he had never felt love. And perhaps, he never would.

_We watched the pixies dancing, and I didn't think I'd need anything else but him, staying right there beside me, and the romantic view of the two shiny little figures dancing slowly in front of us. I was fascinated by the pixies and I couldn't take my eyes off of them for awhile, but when I did, I noticed Peter wasn't watching them. He was staring at me with a little dreamy smile on his face. I smiled when I met his eyes, but then he glared at the pixies, as if to avoid my gaze. We both watched the male pixie swirling the female one around in slow motion, then we looked back at each other. Peter smiled mischievously and stood up, walking away from the tree.  
I stood up, too, wondering what was in his head. He bowed beautifully at me and I smiled at him, as I met his beautiful green eyes, before I bowed as gracefully as I could. He held his hand up and I could feel my heart flying, as I slipped my fingers between his. My right hand reached his shoulder and he lifted me a bit in the air, setting me flying a little distance. He flew close to me again and held my by the waist. Then we started dancing in the rhythm of the slow song the pixies were dancing to. It was so beautiful, just the two of is dancing in the midair, with a few little pixies flying around in the moonlight, making the night even more magical than it already was. We flew up so we were above the trees now, and I could see the moon reflecting on the lake.  
Suddenly the pixies disappeared and Peter's face fell.  
"Wendy?" he whispered, and I smiled, so sure that he was about to say something as sweet and tender as the rest of the night. But then he went and broke my illusions. "It's only make-believe, isn't it?"  
I could feel the smile disappearing from my face, but I couldn't help it. My heart was breaking down inside me.  
"That… you and I are… "He continued, and there was this puzzled look in his eyes which I wasn't used to seeing.  
"Oh… Yes," I said, trying to get the smile back to my face, but it didn't work out well. I was so convinced there was something more than a childish game… that there was something between us… maybe I was wrong. I started falling down, as my thoughts weren't all that happy anymore, and I turned away from him.  
"Wendy?" he called me, flying down so he would be on my eye level. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You see… it'd make me seem so older, being a real father."  
He could see that I was upset. But he probably didn't care. All he cared about was that obsession of his to __**stay a child**__, no matter what. My feet hit the ground and soon, so did his.  
"Peter," I whispered. "What are you real feelings?"  
He started backing from me.  
"Feelings?" he repeated, biting his lip.  
"What do you feel?" I wanted so badly for him to say that he DID love me… but he wouldn't, and I knew it, so why was I even trying? "Happiness? Sadness? Jealousy?" I was just listing the feelings I thought he could hide inside of him.  
"Jealousy?" he repeated. "Tink."  
Right, I wanted to laugh at him. Tink is jealous of me, because she thinks you love me more than you love her… but you only love yourself, don't you, Peter? But I wasn't strong enough to tell him all that. I was so fond of the idea of him loving me, that I didn't even think about the possibility that maybe… he didn't.  
"Anger?" I continued.  
"Anger," he whispered. Suddenly, there was some clicking noise behind us, and he quickly pulled out his knife. "Hook," he said; his eyes away from mine.  
"Love?" I dared to whisper. He was still with his back turned at me, but as I said this, he turned around.  
"Love?" he repeated, confused.  
"Love."  
Tell me you love me, Peter, I pleaded in my mind. But he just slipped his knife back where he had pulled it out from.  
"I've never heard of it."  
I held the tears back. It hurt so much to hear him saying this. So it was true, I really was delusional. Not just delusional, stupid.  
"I think you have, Peter," I continued bravely. "I daresay you feel it yourself, for something or… someone."  
It sounded almost like a question, almost like I begged him to tell me he loved me. But he didn't. He came closer to me and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. But he just leaned so his lips were next to my ear, and whispered:  
"Never." Then he pulled back a little and added, "Even the sound of it offends me."  
I tried to convince myself that he was lying, but I didn't quite manage it. He looked so certain. I reached out to touch his face, still not wanting to believe it.  
"Peter."  
He gasped and backed away from me, as if he was scared of my touch.  
"Why do you spoil everything?" he shouted, looking at me through the low leaves of the trees. "We have fun, don't we? I taught you to fight and to fly. What more could there be?"  
I left my answer unspoken and whispered instead:  
"There is so much more."  
"What? What else is there?"  
I was almost crying now. And, as far as I could see, so was he. I didn't know what was going on inside him, but what I did know was that every word he said ripped my heart a little more.  
"I don't know," I confessed. "I think it gets clear when you grow up."  
And that was my fatal mistake.  
"Well, I would not grow up! You cannot make me!" he hissed angrily in my face. "I'll banish you like Tinkerbell," he threatened.  
And that's where I lost it. As much as I loved him, I couldn't bear him talking to me like that. It hurt like hell.  
"I will NOT be banished!" I yelled at him.  
"Then go home!" he said. My anger was suddenly replaced by the feeling of losing the one I really, really loved. "Go home and grow up! And take your feelings with you!"  
He yelled the last few words as he was running, then he flew away. I ran after him, I was ready to take my words back, all I wanted was to get HIM back as well…  
"Peter!" I screamed. "Peter, come back! PETER!"  
I ran, crying, through the forest, till I reached my own little house and crashed on the floor, drowning myself into my own tears._

I ran my fingers through Nibs' hair, as memories changed in front of my eyes.

_Tinkerbell flew around my head and Peter followed her, so they both headed for the window.  
"Peter!" I called him. "Don't go!"  
He turned to me with a really serious look on his face.  
"I have to tell the others about Cinderella," he said firmly, but his voice sounded as if he was apologizing.  
"But I know lots of stories… stories, I could tell the boys," I said, and I could catch the tempting sound of my voice.  
"Come with me," Peter begged, although Tinkerbell was flying around his head, making unhappy sounds, until he pushed her away with his hand.  
For a moment there, I wanted to go. I wanted to go with him to his magical land… but something occurred to me.  
"I… I cannot fly."  
"I'll teach you," he said, coming close to me again. "I'll teach you to ride the wind's back and away we go!"  
He held my hand in his, and I couldn't help but noticed the warmth of his skin. But I couldn't leave my brothers out of the adventures they'd dreamt about all their lives. So I pulled my hand out of Peter's and stood between John's and Michael's beds.  
"Could John and Michael come, too?" I asked, thrilled.  
Peter walked to me and glanced first at Michael, who was holding his teddy bear, and then at John, whose head hung down the bed. They were both snoring, but Peter looked at me and after a few seconds, he smiled.  
"Michael!" I said, running to my baby brother, who gave a scared gasp out as I shook him. "Michael! John!" I shook my other brother as well, and he jumped up, crying:  
"I didn't do it!"  
"There's a boy here, who is to teach us to fly!" I said, barely breathing with the excitement. Peter smirked from the bottom of John's bed.  
My brothers didn't seem much into the idea. John put his glasses on and said:  
"But you… offend reason, sir."  
Peter's smile quickly fade away and he looked at Michael, who nodded, simply adding: "Mm-hm?"  
Peter kept his hands on his hips as he slowly rose from the floor. His head almost hit the ceiling, and then he came down and stood on the table of John's bed. John quickly stood up.  
"I should like to offend it with you!" he said.  
"You just take happy thoughts… and they lift you into the air!" Peter announced, swirling in the air. Then he sat, cross-legged and upwards, on the ceiling. "It's easy."  
"I've got it! I've got it!" John yelled, climbing back onto his bed and running to speed himself up. "Swords, daggers, Napoleon!" he said, running to the table of the bed and jumping.  
"Stay back!" I warned Michael.  
John screamed happily for the two seconds he was in the air, then he began falling down and the happy scream became a scared one.  
"John!" Michael gasped, as our brother bumped into the toy house on the floor. Peter took Tinkerbell from where she was sitting, cracking up laughing, and spilled a little of her pixie dust towards John's head. He suddenly started rising in the air.  
Michael was really excited now.  
"Wendy! Wendy! Watch me!" he yelled, climbing on John's bed with his teddy bear. "Puddings, marmalade, ice cream… never take a bath again…"  
He jumped off the bed and made circles in the air, coming right through the little cloud of pixie dust Peter was creating.  
I laughed, watching my little brothers flying around the room. Peter stood behind me and I turned to face him, amazed how beautiful his green eyes were. He gently blew a little pixie dust in my face and I smiled, unable to take my eyes off of his. He looked at our feet and I followed his gaze to see the floor at least five foots beneath us. Later, Michael used to joke that I didn't need happy thoughts when Peter was beside me. Later, I could agree with that.  
"Come away," Peter's voice was tempting when he landed on the ledge of the window. "Come away to Neverland," he whispered.  
"Oh," I said, thinking of something else now. "What about Mother?"  
My feet hit the ground.  
"Father?" John added, following me.  
"Nana?" Michael said. He was the last one that landed.  
"There are mermaids," Peter was merciless.  
"Mermaids?" I repeated, lifting in the air again.  
"Indians!" Peter added.  
"Indians?" the boys repeated and I knew they were flying now, too.  
"Pirates!" Peter said, and that was all John and Michael needed.  
John flew out the window with an "Yo-ho-ho!".  
"John, wait for me!" Michael cried, flying in circles through the window.  
Peter held my hand, as I climbed on the ledge of the window beside him. Then he flew up a little bit, standing in the air right in front of me. He reached for my hand, but I turned around to take one last look at the nursery. Our little beds, the candle lights which Mother had lighted on… I would miss that. But, on the other hand, I would never grow up in Neverland… And more, there was this beautiful-eyed boy…  
"Forget them, Wendy," he whispered right in my ear. "Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about growing-up things again."  
I felt tears in my eyes, but I had already made my decision.  
"Never is an awfully long time," I said to Peter and he smiled mischievously at me. I smiled back and took his hand. He held it, while we were flying away from my home._

I looked at Nibs again, trying to remember what he looked like as a child. And there was a little sweet memory... one of the few I had from Neverland, which was not all about Peter…

_I woke up in one little house which I couldn't remember going into. I could hear children laughing outside, so I stood up and headed for the door. They saw me through a window and they started talking quietly and excitedly.  
"Here she is. Look lovable!" one of them said quietly.  
I opened the door and there they were – six boys. One of them was somewhat chubby, with wide brown eyes and a funny hat – that was Tootles, of course. Next to him was Nibs, with his hair a little too long and spread around his face, and two of his baby teeth missing. On his left was Slightly, dark-haired and politely smiling. The last one in the row was the one with very curly blond hair – Curly, of course. The two little twins, absolutely identical, and both a little nervous and very excited, were standing in front of anyone. Tootles and Slightly quickly took their hats off.  
"Wendy-lady," Slightly said, "for you we built this house with a doorknocker."  
"And a chimney," Tootles added.  
"One, two, three," the boys counted under their breath, and then all kneeled to the ground and said in one voice: "Please, be our mother!"  
I could not resist the pleading looks on the kids' faces. But I had to tell them something first.  
I nervously ran my fingers through my hair and I laughed a little.  
"Oh," I said, touched. "Well, it is frightfully fascinating. But you see… I have no really experience."  
"Do you tell stories?" asked one of the twins, and I was so caught up in his baby voice, that I wanted to go and hug him right now.  
"Yes," I smiled.  
"Then you are perfect," Curly assured me innocently.  
I didn't have any reason to resist them any longer.  
"Very well, I'll do my best!" I promised them somewhat solemnly.  
The boys went all "hooray!" and they started introducing themselves. Nibs came closer to me and put some kind of bandage on my eyes.  
"Sorry about this," he apologized, as they leaded me through the forest and told me about the dangers which they had faced and the ones they were yet to face.  
When Nibs took the bandage off, I was in front of something like a hole in a tree. He placed a hand on my back and pushed me in the hole.  
"Time to meet Father, Mother," he said, pushing me onwards.  
"But, I…"  
"I'm so glad I'll be your son!" Slightly said and he closed the hole, so it was absolutely dark now. I got kind of scared as I walked on, and especially when the path ended and I fell in something like a tunnel._

I smiled silently to myself, looking at my sleeping little brother's face. The childish dimples on his left chin had disappeared, his hair was cut very short and he was not as pug-nosed as he used to be. He had broken his nose one winter while we were playing in the snow.  
I kissed him lightly on the forehead. While he was sleeping, he reminded me so much of the child he used to be. Nibs had become a man of honor, but inside him still lived the little brave Nibs I used to know.

_Peter rushed, howling, in the room we were eating, the boys still dressed as redskins.  
"There's a new pirate aboard on __**Jolly Roger**__," he announced, and I felt the blood leaving my face. "The mermaids said she's called __**Red-handed Jill**__."  
"New adventure, boys, come on!" Nibs yelled, standing up. The rest of the boys followed him.  
"Red-handed Jill? That sounds quite fearsome," Tootles marked, and I smiled smugly.  
"Fearsome?" Peter laughed, and my smile faded as I looked at him sharpening his sword. "She's just a storyteller."  
"Just a storyteller?" I repeated, not believing my ears. What was I to him, if not a romantic interest and not a storyteller? I stood up, hitting the table as I did so. "Red-handed Jill might be a brave swordsman", I said firmly.  
All the boys laughed at me. My own boys!  
"A girl?" Someone yelled in disbelief.  
"Brave or not, I shall run her through," Peter said, cutting a water melon in two with his sword.  
I felt tears coming up in my eyes. The words he said to me last night and that hatred in his eyes now was way too much for me. I pulled the sword he had given me out.  
"Then prepare yourself, Peter Pan," I hissed at him. "I am Red-handed Jill."  
"Mother," Tootles whispered, amazed.  
"Wendy," John said in disbelief.  
Peter bit his lip, but he didn't look me straight into the eyes.  
"It is true, John," I smiled. "Your sister has been invited to piracy."  
Peter started walking slowly towards me. I thought he was going to apologize or something, he looked so hurt.  
The boys said something about Hook being a monster, but I could not agree. Not with having Peter staring in my eyes.  
"On the contrary," I said. "I find Captain Hook to be a man… with feeling."  
I stressed on the last word, looking straight into Peter's beautiful green eyes. His face suddenly became angry and he started a cross-swords fight. All of my boys gasped, when his sword touched my neck.  
"Mother and Father fighting again," Tootles said desperately.  
Under other circumstances, I would have laughed at him. But now, having Peter looking at me with his sword touching my neck and seeing the tears in his eyes… nothing seemed to be funny.  
"Sir," I started with freezing politeness. "You are both ungallant and deficient."  
"How am I deficient?" he asked coldly, without even a hint of a smile in his eyes.  
I shook my head, tears in my eyes again.  
"You're just a boy," I whispered, forgetting about the cool politeness.  
What I didn't tell him was that he was not just a boy, but just the boy for me… but he didn't need to know that. He was far better without knowing about my true feelings. He lowered the sword.  
"Are you really to be pirate, Mother?" Michael asked, almost crying.  
"No," I answered, taking my eyes off of Peter for a second. When I glanced back at him, he was smiling triumphantly. "We are going home."  
My boys gasped and Peter's smile faded.  
"Home?" someone yelled.  
"What?"  
"To leave Neverland?" John said in disbelief.  
"We don't want to!" they all yelled.  
I walked past Peter and kneeled in front of Michael and John.  
"But we must," I said to my baby brother.  
John kneeled as well, so he, Michael and I were on the same eye level.  
"We've forgotten our parents," I said. "We must leave at once, before we, in turn, are forgotten."  
What I really wanted was go get away from Peter. The pain in his eyes burned me from the inside, as if I wasn't in enough pain myself.  
John slowly stood up.  
"I've forgotten… my parents. We must leave!"  
All boys suddenly agreed and started pleading Peter to let them go in one voice. I held my arms around Slightly and one of the twins.  
"If you wish it," Peter said quietly, his heart in his eyes, as if he begged us to stay, but he was too proud to say so.  
I froze. I thought he was going to stop us, to stop __**me**__ from leaving him… but he didn't. He was letting us go, because we wanted so, and in this moment I realized that Peter was more of a man than I thought.  
"If you wish it?" Slightly repeated in amazement.  
"If you wish it!" Peter burst out.  
Then he flew up and out of our vision.  
The boys and I talked the matter again and again and all of us decided that they should come with my brothers and me. After all, I had been their mother for a few weeks, and a mother does not leave her sons alone.  
"You can sleep in the nursery!" Michael was just suggesting, when Peter came back. He seemed to be in so much pain, letting us go and being left alone.  
"I have arranged a fairy-guide to lead you back," he said quietly, as if he could not speak louder. His heart seemed to be too broken.  
"Peter," I said gently, standing up. "We've been talking."  
All the boys stood up around me.  
"What if you came back with us?" I asked; my heart in my eyes. I wanted him to come, to be there for me all my life. It was a hopeless dream, I knew it, but I didn't want to let go of this dream. I didn't want to let go of Peter.  
"Can we go, Peter? Please, Peter, can we go?" the boys started shouting.  
I could tell that Peter made a great effort to speak.  
"If you wish it," he said again.  
The boys looked around, as if they didn't know what to do.  
"Get your things," I ordered them, and as they ran around, I took a few steps towards Peter. "You, too, Peter," I said when I was just a breath away from him.  
He hesitated, and I could feel my heart jumping. Maybe he was going to agree, after all.  
"Will they send me to school?" he asked almost soundless.  
I realized that I was being delusional again. I was just a girl. How could I make Peter Pan grow up?  
"Yes," I nodded, still hoping.  
"Then… to an office," he smiled weakly.  
"I suppose so," I whispered, not trusting myself to speak louder.  
"Soon I should be a man," he smiled unhappily.  
I nodded, too scared of the rejection, which was about to come.  
He shook his head and backed away with a smile, obviously wishing to make all this seem like a big joke.  
"You can't catch __**me**__ and make __**me**__ a man!"  
"Peter!"  
I ran closer to him. His face fell. He leaned to me, so I could feel his breathe on my skin.  
"I want always to be a boy and have fun," he said, voiceless again.  
I gave in. I was so tired of trying to make him love me. He couldn't. He was just a boy.  
"You say so," I marked. "But I think it's your biggest pretend."  
Peter's gaze didn't meet my eyes. He looked at the ground, as I was passing him by.  
Our goodbye was short and almost wordless. He didn't speak to me. I reminded him about the medicine, desperate to make him say something. But he just turned around and kept on playing his flute. My voice broke, and I almost cried.  
I walked the dark tunnel slowly, without looking back for the boy I loved. I knew he wasn't going to come; I knew him too well. The first thing I saw in the daylight were my boys, all tied up with a rope and with covered mouths. I froze in horror. I looked around and saw all the pirates, including Hook, around our tree house. One ugly pirate came from behind me, hissing "Surprise!" and he covered my mouth. My boys started yelling through the clothes in their mouths. Hook walked in front of me and all I could think about was: "Peter, Peter, oh Lord, please keep Peter safe, please, keep Peter safe!"  
"A new era begins," Hook said to my face and he added, as Smee giggled: "Take them away."  
One of the pirates grabbed Curly, the other one threw Michael on his shoulder, Nibs tried to fight, but didn't manage it. A creepy guy with sunglasses caught me on his shoulder and I watched in terror Hook standing in front of the tree house with Smee, who was holding Michael's teddy bear. I shrieked in horror, knowing what was to come.  
"Peter!" I tried to cry out, but the cloth in my mouth didn't let me.  
They led us to the ship, where they tied me to a column, and let the boys sit in a circle on the floor. They took the clothes out of our mouths. I watched as the weather turned from rainy to a big storm. The pirates were shouting happily as they took out the plank on which each and every one of us was about to lose their life on. One of the pirates had his arms around Tootles' neck and he was suffocating the boy. Hook came from nowhere, happier than he should be, and held my head so I had to watch them placing the plank on place.  
"There's still room for a storyteller," he said, gently stroking my cheek.  
There was a lightning in the sky and then we all heard the thunder. Knowing what he probably had done to Peter, I couldn't agree even if I wanted. And I didn't want. I wouldn't hurt Peter and my boys like this. I would not betray Peter like this.  
"I'd rather die," I said bravely in his face, amazed of the fact my voice sounded firm and there was no hint I was already dying inside.  
Hook's finger touched my lower lip and he looked disappointed.  
"Shame," he said.  
"Captain!" Smee called him. "Look at the sky!" It was dark and clouded, and there was no single piece of the blue heaven it used to look like. "Look at the water."  
Hook ran to see the water. I couldn't see it from here, but I could hear it ruffling. There was a shriek of pain, dreadful pain, which scared all of us. All of my boys looked up, and I felt it was hard to breathe.  
"Pan must be dead!" Smee said.  
I was almost unconscious by the time he said that. I couldn't even find tears inside of me. I felt so empty, so… so nobody… now that he wasn't here at all. But he couldn't… he couldn't be dead, could he?  
"Impossible! No! No way!" the boys started shouting.  
"No," I whispered too, breathing heavily, shaking my head. Suddenly, it started snowing.  
Peter was all I could think about. If only there was something we could do! But there wasn't; we had to stand there and watch the pirates laugh about it.  
Hook called all of his crew.  
"Hats off!" he ordered. "A moment silence for worthy enemy, Peter Pan."  
They were silent for a moment, and I felt the tears coming up to my eyes, filling them. My lips kept mouthing his name, though there was no sound. I didn't trust myself to speak again. Ever. I couldn't bear it… Peter couldn't be dead, could he?  
"We sale at dawn!" Hook yelled cheerfully and all the pirates threw their hats in the air.  
Then suddenly, I felt something. I didn't know what it was, an instinct or maybe I was just going crazy. But there was a lightning in the sky, and suddenly I knew that it was what I had to do.  
"I do believe in fairies," I said, feeling rather stupid.  
"In what?" one of the pirates looked at me just as confused as my boys.  
"I do believe in fairies," I insisted, looking harshly at my boys. John frowned at me.  
"I do believe in fairies," I said for the third time. "I do, I do!"  
"I do believe in fairies," John repeated finally. "I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!"  
He looked at Michael.  
"I do believe in fairies," said my baby brother, looking at the other boys, and they all started reciting in one voice.  
"I do believe in fairies, I do, I do! I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!"  
I didn't know what we were doing, or why we were doing it. I just knew we had to. My heart told me that we had a chance if we did so, and there was only one boy, who could talk with my heart's voice. That's how I knew he hadn't left us.  
"I do believe in fairies, I do, I do! I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!"  
The pirates started stepping back from us. One of them took off his sword and shouted something threatening, then he started copying us: "They believe in fairies, I do, I do!", he laughed at us.  
But the others were getting crazy around us. We did look quite weird, spending the last seconds of our lives screaming "I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!". I closed my eyes to concentrate and kept on repeating this little mantra which certainly was leading to something. The snow had stopped, the clouds became pink and the sun started shining.  
"He's alive!" Hook shrieked. "Why is he?" he walked to me, out of his mind already. "What is he? Tell us one more story before you die." He caught me by the neck. "The story of Peter Pan," he finished. He lifted me a little, not letting go of my neck. "Once upon a time…"  
"Once upon a time," I repeated, my voice trembling now.  
"Pirates," Smee shouted. "Red-handed Jill is gonna tell us a story!"  
They all ran to sit down around my boys.  
"There was a little boy named Peter Pan," I said, "who decided not to grow up."  
The captain's hook hit the wood just beside my head and I gasped.  
"Skip the prologue," he ordered.  
"So he flew away to Neverland, were the pirates are."  
"Was one of them pirates called Noodle?" one of them asked.  
"Yes," I whispered.  
"Captain, did you hear?" he said, fascinated. "I am in the story."  
But he couldn't enjoy that very longer. Hook shot him straight in the heart and he fell dead. My boys screamed, scared. I look at them, pleading them not to be afraid. They needed to be brave now.  
"How fun he must have had," Hook said, paying attention only to me.  
"Yes," I said with a little effort. "But he was… rather lonely."  
I wanted to believe in this one.  
"Lonely," Hook repeated and frowned at me. "He needed a Wendy."  
"I need a Wendy," said one of the pirates, and he followed Noodle in the kingdom of dead souls. My boys started screaming again, but I wasn't afraid. Not now when I knew Peter was safe and sound… for now.  
"Why a Wendy?" Hook asked.  
"He likes my stories."  
Yes, it was only this. He liked my stories, that's why he wanted me here. And I was stupid enough to think he loved me…  
"What stories?" Hook hissed.  
"Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty," I answered, more bravely now.  
"Love stories?" Hook guessed.  
"Adventures, in which good triumphs over evil," I said provokingly.  
My boys shouted in encouragement.  
"They all end in a kiss," the captain marked.  
I gasped quietly, realizing where he was getting at. I prayed in my mind that he wasn't going to use me as a bite to get Peter to come here. I would never forgive myself if he died for me.  
"A kiss," Hook repeated. "He does feel. He feels about you."  
Oh, no. He ripped the ropes around me and held me by the hair.  
"She told him stories – he taught her to fly. How?"  
The hook touched my throat.  
"You just think happy thoughts and they lift you into the air," I said firmly.  
"Alas, I have no happy thoughts," he hissed in my ear.  
"That brings you down," I hissed disdainfully.  
The hook was just about to kill me now, but I would not give in.  
"How else?" Hook asked.  
"No! Leave her alone!" my boys shouted.  
"Fairy dust!" Michael shouted. "You need fairy dust!"  
"Michael!" all the boys yelled at once.  
Hook laughed cruelly.  
"What of Pan?" he whispered. "Will unhappy thoughts bring him down?"  
"He has no unhappy thoughts," I almost cried.  
"How if his Wendy… walks the plank?" he shrieked.  
They covered my eyes and led me to the edge of the plank.  
"You know, I really am terribly sorry about this," Hook said, blocking my way back with his sword. Then we all heard the clicking of a clock and I heard Hook stepping back on the ship.  
"The irony," he laughed. "It comes for Hook – it gets a story."  
He swung the plank and I shrieked, as I was about to fall.  
"No!" John shouted.  
Hook swung the plank again. The third time, I did fall.  
I screamed in horror, as I came closer to the water, but then, all out of sudden, I was safe in the arms of the boy I loved. He was flying low beneath the plank and he caught me seconds before I hit the water. Without saying a word, I twisted my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, snuggling as close to his chest as I could. His arms tugged me even closer, so his warmth was wrapped all around me.  
"Peter," I whispered, almost certain that I've died and I'm in heaven.  
But it could not be heaven, not with all my boys screaming in terror somewhere above us. I didn't lift my head from Peter's shoulder as he gently removed the bandage from my eyes.  
"It's okay," he whispered, and I knew it really was. He was there.  
For a second he held me close to his chest, breathing heavily in my hair, as if he was getting its scent, to remember it forever… He seemed kind of mature; a Peter's kind of maturity… but still, kind of mature. I cried on his shoulder, so relieved to see him alive again. He touched my hair, comforting me, and then he whispered in my ear:  
"Please, stop crying, Wendy. We've got a job to do."  
I looked up at him and wiped my tears. He smiled with my favorite, familiar smile and I nodded briefly, not letting go of him even for a second.  
"The crocodile…" I whispered.  
"It's okay," he laughed. "Trust me."  
I did. I trusted him more than I've ever trusted anyone, and that laugh could make me believe in anything. He flew up, still holding me tight in his arms, and he gently covered my mouth with his hand before I looked down and saw why. Hook was holding my baby brother up in the air by the collar, his little feet were kicking around in the air. The pirates noticed that the clicking sound came from the air instead from the water at the same moment as me, and we all looked up. I almost laughed, but Hook seemed terrified, as he let go of Michael and my brother fell on the ground. Hook yelled something at his crew and they all ran around. The captain kicked John, so he fell in front of the other boys.  
That was when Peter landed in front of the boys, still holding me tight in his arms. The boys gasped in amazement, but they probably shouldn't have done so. Hook stopped for a second, before he turned around to look at them, and that second was enough for Peter to let me go, to catch my hand and to run with me to hide behind a column. He looked dreamily at his knife, as Hook passed us by. One of his pirates fell in the water and the captain turned to look at him. That was when I ran to the room with the weapons and Peter flew to hide between the boys. I took out weapons for everybody, even for the twins and Michael, even though I didn't want them to participate in the battle. The boys ran up to me – obviously Peter had freed them. We all came close to the door and listened.  
There was somewhat of a shriek and a splash in the water, then something hit the ground – from the sound I could guess it was Michael's teddy bear.  
"So, Peter Pan, this is all your doing," Hook said.  
I really hoped Peter knew what he was doing. I didn't want him hurt.  
"Aye, James Hook. It's all my doing," Peter answered happily__.  
__Something splashed in the water again. __  
„__Insolent infant youth," Hook hissed.  
Please, keep Peter safe, I prayed again, just before I heard the sound of a sword being taken out.  
"Prepare to meet fate," Hook said.  
Peter said something I didn't quite hear, and then we heard the swords hitting each other. Someone hit something and there was a gasp of pain. Then there were a lot of yells and shouts, and we heard all the pirates coming to help their captain. Peter was alone. I wanted to go there and help him, but I promised him we'd wait for his signal.  
"Leave him!" Hook roared and we all lifted our eyebrows. "He is mine."  
"Now!" Peter yelled.  
We all came, shouting, out of the room, and attacked the pirates. I fought with a really ugly one, but he took my eyes off of Peter, as I had to fight for my own life. On my left, Michael was fighting with someone who was three times his height, but he was doing really well. My back bumped in someone else's and I turned around, scared to death, to see who it was and I saw John. We both yelled and kneeled to the ground, so the pirates we were fighting with stabbed each other in the bellies. We turned for a second and we both laughed, when we saw Michael on the plank with his sword in Smee's chest. The old pirate looked so scared of our baby brother, when he handed him all the jewelry he had in him. But we didn't have time to see anything else, because we had to fight. It was almost fun, to be honest. Almost like in a game, I even laughed, while I fought the last one. But I was afraid, and not for myself. I was afraid for Peter, for Michael and John, and for the rest of my beloved boys.  
I could not hear Peter's laughter from the skies. What was going on? I took a quick glance at the sky and I saw them both flying, Hook and Peter. Hook was saying something that apparently was making Peter rather sad. I wanted to cry out that it's okay… but I didn't have time. There were tears in his eyes, but he was still fighting. He was alright. For now.  
Then he fell._

Nibs turned in his sleep. I smiled at him, and then I looked at Jane. She was a little bit younger than Michael was back then. I ran my fingers through Nibs' hair again, remembering one of my last visions of Peter Pan.

_ Our lips set apart and there was this big smile on Peter's face, which followed my brothers' comments. Hook lifted me by the hair, holding his weapon almost to my temple. But Peter smiled and there was this odd glowing around him. I smiled with him, when Hook let me go and stood up.  
"Brace yourselves, pals," Slightly said.  
"It's a powerful thing," Tootles added.  
"Pan," Hook said in amazement. "You're pink."  
And he really kind of was, but it was actually this odd glowing. All the pirates stood around Peter, pushing me aside. Tinkerbell flew out of Nibs' hand and to the bell upon our heads. Nibs was the first to kneel on the ground, covering his ears with his hands. He was followed by Tootles, Michael, John, Curly, Slightly, the twins and then me. And then we understood why.  
Peter shouted. But he shouted so loudly, that the pirates were pushed away by the sound wave. I laughed along with the boys, when Peter flew up, swirling in the air, and he flew so high we could barely see him anymore. I saw him floating happily through the clouds, before coming down again. He took two swords from the floor and that was when we all started fighting with the few pirates left. They were an easy job, and when we finished with them, we all looked up to Peter and Hook fighting in the air.  
"You are old," Peter was just saying, pointing his sword to Hook.  
"But I won!" the adult pirate cried these words like a baby.  
Peter was lying lazily in the air, crossing his sword with Hook's. Then he suddenly stood up and placed his sword under Hook's chin.  
"Old," one of the twins repeated.  
"And alone," Peter added, twirling Hook around with his sword.  
"Alone," repeated the other twin.  
Hook flew a few inches away from Peter, shouting:  
"No! I won! I won!"  
And then he saw the crocodile. It was right beneath him.  
"Done for," I remarked.  
Peter smiled at me.  
"Happy thoughts, happy thoughts," Hook said with trembling voice. He started listing some creepy things like ripping and blood, while Nibs, Tootles, Curly, John, Slightly and I were shouting:  
"Old! Alone! Done for!"  
Peter was just standing in the air, watching the crocodile doing his job, while we kept on reciting:  
"Old! Alone! Done for!"  
The crocodile's teeth clicked just next to Hook's feet.  
"Old, alone," Hook said finally.  
"Done for!" we yelled all at once.  
Hook crossed his arms in front of his chest, unable to fight fate anymore.  
"Done for," he said seconds before the crocodile's jaws closed around him. We all started shouting happily and hugging each other, when suddenly Hook's voice cursed from above. We all looked up, horrified and confused.  
"Silence, you dorks," Peter was standing there in one of the captain's outfits, and he was imitating his voice perfectly. "Or I'll cast that anchor at you," he said in his own voice.  
All the boys started jumping around him and shouting "We won, we won!", but for me, it was enough just to look in his beautiful green eyes.  
"Ready to cast off?" he asked solemnly.  
"Aye, Captain!" the boys answered in the same style and they all ran around the ship.  
So it was just me and Peter now, staring happily at each other. There was still a little blood on his face, but he was smiling. His smile faded a little, when he realized we were alone and there were so many unspoken things between us. Probably he remembered the last words he had said to me, the way he hurt me. I smiled at him, letting him know he's forgiven, and then the smile rose back on his face.  
"Oh, that cleverness of you," I laughed, my voice almost tender.  
He shrugged smugly, and I couldn't help but laughed. Then he whistled and there were all those pixies, landing all around the ship. Soon, we were floating in the air. We floated slowly past Big Ben just as it turned six in the evening._

Nibs woke up, looking confused as his eyes met mine.  
"Are you okay, Wendy?" he asked, looking at the tears on my face.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I whispered tearfully.  
"You didn't," he reassured me. "When you are on the war, you get used to not getting enough sleep, so I don't sleep very well now. But are you okay?"  
I nodded.  
"Yes, I was just thinking…"  
"About what?"  
"You know… stuff."  
He raised his eyebrows.  
"Peter," I admitted.  
Nibs frowned.  
"Peter," he repeated. "You know, Wendy, sometimes I wonder if it wasn't just one big dream," he whispered, avoiding my eyes.  
"How could it be?" I answered, also whispering, but searching for his gaze. "You are here, aren't you? I took you from Neverland, remember?"  
"Yes, sometimes it seems like I remember," he admitted. "But sometimes it doesn't. "  
"Of course you remember, Nibs," I said. "You planned the battles."  
He laughed quietly, so he wouldn't wake up Jane.  
"Why are you still so upset about him? You are a grown-up woman, you've got a daughter. He's probably still the same boy he was when he left us… or we left him."  
"Probably," I sighed.  
"Hey," Nibs came closer and wiped my tears away. "You still love him, don't you?"  
I nodded and hid my face in his shoulder.  
"Isn't it just crazy?" I cried. "I haven't seen him in years. And he's so much younger than me. But I am still his, Nibs. I still belong to him. I don't think that's going to change. And the worst part is… now I think about it, and I'm not sure he ever loved me as much as I love him."  
"Oh, he did," Nibs said immediately. "He loved you more than he loved all of us put together, including Tinkerbell. You are the girl who made the child become a teenager, Wendy. You were the one for him. And I don't think that's going to change, too."  
I was so glad to have him by my side.  
"He never came to visit," I sobbed into my brother's shoulder.  
"Maybe he didn't want to say goodbye again," he answered. "You know Peter. He's never been a big one for the drama."  
"Do you think John and Michael had gone back there? Back in Neverland?" I asked, my voice full of hope now the idea has occurred to me.  
Nibs were silent for a few seconds.  
"Yes," he answered. "That sounds pretty logical. After all, Neverland was our very own little heaven. So, yes, Wendy, I think our brothers are with Peter now."  
"I wish I was, too," I sighed, not fully accepting what I was saying.  
Nibs pulled me a little bit away from him.  
"You are not going to do anything stupid, are you?" he asked, a little bit scared. "I lost two brothers, Wendy. I don't want to lose my sister, as well."  
I ran my fingers through his cheek.  
"No, Nibs. Chill out. I lost two brothers, too, you know. I know how much it hurts. You are not going to lose your sister."  
"My mother," he joked. I tickled him.

***  
**Country roads, take me home,  
to the place I belong…****  
**  
"Mother? Father?"  
I couldn't be more surprised. My parents had never appeared at my house just like that, without letting me know before that. My mother looked amazed, when she saw Nibs by my side, but she didn't say anything, she just hugged him and sobbed quietly.  
"What happened?" I asked, a little bit scared now.  
"There was a terrorists' attack," Father told me. "We had to evacuate ourselves. Our old house had been torn down. Can we stay here until we find another place to live?"  
I almost laughed.  
"But of course you can!" I said. "Besides, Nibs here needs all the help he can get."  
"What's wrong with you, darling?" Mother said, letting go of Nibs.  
"I was a little bit hurt," he answered blurry.  
A little bit, I repeated in my mind. Just a step or two away from death, that's all. We were lucky they'd led him to a hospital soon enough. If they hadn't, I would have lost another brother. But he was here now, recovering pretty well.  
A few weeks later, it occurred to us that the terrorists' attacks were not only in my parents' area. In the middle of the night, there was all this shouting and screaming… I went out with my parents, Nibs and Jane to go to the safe place.  
But there wasn't enough time. Father and Mother were running in front of us, Mother was holding Jane. Nibs and I were holding hands as we run through the yard. In a moment, I felt Nibs letting go of my hand and falling down on the ground, hit by something. I didn't have time to scream or to see him hitting the ground, because something hit me in the head and I fell.  
And suddenly, I was standing on that old window frame again. I looked to my left, where I saw a boy, about ten or eleven years old, who looked quite familiar. His hair was a little too long and it was spread around his face, held up by something like a leather hair bandage. He was pug-nosed, with sweet brown eyes and a little charming smile. He was dressed in something like a big girdle. Two of his baby teeth were missing. My heart went crazy when I realized who that boy was.  
"Nibs?" I whispered, amazed.  
He was staring back at me and he didn't seem to understand much more than I did.  
"Wendy," he gasped.  
I looked down. I was wearing something like a knee-length white dress… no, a nightgown, and my feet were bare. I suddenly noticed that they were way smaller than they should be.  
"Did we come back in time or what?" I asked quietly, while Nibs just stared in the air in front of us.  
"No," he answered quietly and I was caught up in the child's voice he was talking with. "I think… I think this is our heaven, Wendy."  
He made a step forward and I shrieked, scared that he was to fall down and kill himself. But instead, he floated happily in the air.  
"Come on, Wendy," he laughed. "You know how to do it. Think happy thoughts."  
I knew how to do it. I just didn't know if I could do it…  
Then there was a little ringing voice just above my right ear.  
"Come on, Wendy."  
I turned a little to see the small fairy flying around my head.  
"Tinkerbell," I whispered, amazed. Was I supposed to understand what she was saying? Wait, was she supposed to be here?  
"Tink!" Nibs shouted cheerfully and he flew to catch the little fairy and hug it. "Hey, I'm so happy to see you!"  
"Me, too," Tink laughed.  
"How is Peter?" my brother asked, and suddenly I felt my feet leaving the window's frame almost without an effort.  
"Well, he's getting better," Tink answered, leading us straight forward. We didn't even notice that we were flying away.  
"He's getting better," I repeated, confused. "What had been wrong with him?"  
Tink stopped in the air to look at me.  
"You," she answered shortly.  
"Her?" Nibs repeated, perplexed. "Why?"  
Tink sighed.  
"I think he misses her," she said. "I don't know; he wouldn't talk about it. But he often speaks at night. I mean, while he's asleep. He says your name."  
I looked at Nibs, and my brother simply smiled at me, shrugging as if he wanted to tell me "I told you so".

***  
**Welcome to my love  
Come on in and make yourself at home  
Welcome to my life  
I know everything is gonna be alright****  
**  
We finally landed on the familiar, welcoming island. From where we were standing, I could see three boys doing something around a little wooden house in the distance. I couldn't identify them, but I had a serene idea who they might be.  
The smallest figure suddenly looked up at me and Nibs, and it ran quickly to us. As it came closer, I recognized Michael's honey-colored hair. My baby brother ran to my arms, followed by John, who simply hugged me and Michael at the same time. I hid my face in his shoulder, trying to hold the tears back. Michael jumped off of my embrace and ran to hug Nibs. After a few seconds, so did John.  
But the third boy didn't even look up. I wondered if he even noticed John and Michael weren't with him anymore.  
"I'm sure he'll be so happy to see you!" Michael exclaimed straight into my ear.  
I didn't need to ask who he was talking about. My baby brother caught my hand and led me quickly to Peter. When we were just ten steps or something away from him, he finally turned around.  
His eyes widened, and his lips quietly mouthed my name. I laughed, feeling the tears of happiness in my eyes. He took the distance between us with two big leaps, and he caught me in his arms. I couldn't stop the tears anymore; I hid my face in his shoulder and cried.  
He seemed to have grown up, after all. Not much, though – just two or three years since the last time I'd seen him.  
"You've grown," I sobbed in his shoulder, unable to stop crying.  
"Oh, yes," he said carelessly, but his voice trembled, as if he was crying, too. "I guess it was because of you."  
"I'm sorry," I said.  
"No, no, I didn't mean it like this! I'm not blaming you," he explained. "When Michael came here, I was exactly the same age as I was when you left. But then I realized that, someday, you were going to come back, too. And I wanted to grow up a little bit for you. Just a little bit, though. I'm still certain that I don't want to become a man," he laughed. "I just didn't want to be so… deficient… when you came back."  
The things I had said to him rushed back in my mind, and I felt so bad for telling him stuff like that.  
"Peter," I cried.  
"Hey, it's okay," he laughed. "It's fine."  
"I know," I whispered.  
"Then why are you crying?"  
"I'm just so happy…"  
He laughed, and I felt his lips touching my hair.  
"Wendy," he laughed, as if he enjoyed the simple sound of my name. "Wendy…"  
I looked up at him. There were tears in his eyes and he was smiling happily. I stood on tiptoe to reach his lips and kissed him briefly, but gently. Then we set apart. Peter looked down at me for a moment, then he leaned down and his lips met mine in a sweet kiss.  
After a few seconds, he broke the kiss and looked very seriously into my eyes. He took a deep breath, and then let it out without saying anything. He did that three or four times, and then he finally said:  
"I love you, Wendy."  
I crashed. The words I longed to hear for so long were finally said, and they were even sweeter that I'd imagined.  
"I love you, too, Peter," I whispered back. "I always have."

***  
**And I will always love you,  
I will always love you,  
You, my darling… You…****  
**  
He was sleeping peacefully on the big bed; his hair was shining in the moonlight, coming through the window. I just watched him sleeping with tears of happiness in my eyes. He turned in his sleep, whispering my name. I ran my fingers through his soft hair.  
"I love you," I whispered in the darkness.  
He was sleeping lightly, as always; I just had forgotten. At the sound of my voice, he jumped up.  
"Peter," I said quietly. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."  
"No, it's okay," he smiled and sat down beside me. "We have a lot to talk about, don't we?"  
"Yeah, you have to tell me everything that happened in Neverland since we left."  
He laughed quietly.  
"I don't think that's gonna happen. Do you really think I remember it all?"  
My smile faded away.  
"Yes, that's right. You are not very good at remembering things."  
He pulled me to lean against his chest.  
"What do you mean?"  
"You never came to visit," I said. "Years passed, I grew up and I always hoped that you'll come to see me, or that you'll just… fly in front of my window… I prayed and prayed, but you never showed…"  
"I did," he interrupted, when I stopped to breathe in. "I was there, every evening. Until one night… you came home with some guy. Then I flew away and I never came back." Peter pushed me away from his chest. "Who was that guy, Wendy? Was it your husband? Was Hook right? Did you forget all about me and just… married someone? I thought… you said… we belong together. I grew up for you!"  
I closed my eyes and tried to snuggle to his chest again. He didn't let me.  
"He was… not… my husband," I said, trying to hold the tears back. Why did I have to bring up the topic? It was the perfect moment, but, of course, I had to ruin it. "It was just some guy I met… Some guy that reminded me of you, Peter… It's always been you. Always, Peter… How could I forget about you? Do you really think that could happen? You are here."  
I placed my hand on my chest, close to my heart. It was getting hard to hold the tears back. Peter took me in his arms again, and I just couldn't do it anymore. And I cried.  
"I've never seen you crying so much, Wendy," he said, worried. "Is something wrong? You can tell me."  
"I have a daughter, Peter," I sobbed.  
I felt him pushing me aside from him again.  
"Don't," I cried.  
"So you… there really was something… between you and this guy."  
I couldn't stand the pain in his eyes.  
"I didn't think I was going to see you ever again!" I cried. "You never showed. Even if you were there, you never let me know. How could I know you still remembered me? I was desperate. I wanted to forget all about you, because I thought you didn't remember me anymore. I thought you didn't care anymore. So I started seeing this guy. It didn't last. We dated for, like, a couple of months, and then I left him, because I couldn't stand anyone else to stand where you stood. Eight months later, I had Jane. She was my relief. Taking care of her distracted me of the fact you weren't there! You were never there!"  
Peter bit his lip, then pulled me close to him again. I laughed. Third time tonight.  
"I'm sorry, Wendy," he whispered in my hair. "I'm terribly sorry. I just didn't want to say goodbye to you again. It was hard enough the first time. I just watched you sleep. I didn't want to leave you forever, because you were too important to me. I'm so sorry. I should have let you know I was there. I was always there, actua

ly."  
I laughed and I pressed my forehead against his chest.  
"I love you."  
"I love you, too, Wendy. I always have."  
He kissed me.


End file.
